It was cheese-tastic. You can visit
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thefreak to read the blow by hilarious blow, but suffice it to say, there was much laughter, we were loudly shushed by some Twi-hards, and when wolf boy took his shirt off, I think 100 women ovulated all at once.But there was something else.. something kind of screwy happening. I couldn't quite put my finger on it while I was in the theater, but once I got out, it hit me.
According to the National Domestic Violence hotline, these are some signs that you may be in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship.
Does your partner:
* Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Check.
* Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
"Stay away from the werewolves. I love you."
* Make all of the decisions?
Check.
* Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
"If I wasn't so attracted to you, I wouldn't have to break up with you."
* Threaten to commit suicide?
"I just can't live without you. In fact, I'll run to Italy and try suicide by vampire if anything happens to you."
* Threaten to kill you?
On their first date.
These are some more signs of an abusive relationship.
Has your partner...
* Tried to isolate you from family or friends.
Bella doesn't have time for anyone else!
* Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
Check.
* Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
Does tossing her through a glass table count?
* Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
"We're breaking up. And I'm leaving you in the forest."
* Scared you by driving recklessly.
Check.
* Forced you to leave your home.
She had to run away with him to flee from the other vampires in the first movie, and she had to drop everything and run to Italy in the second.
* Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
Check. Even in the hospital, nothing is a big deal.
* Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
Well, they are Mormon... (I know, I know, cheap shot.)
* Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
Check, wolf-boy.
Now I'm pissed. According to the NDVH, "If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship." This list is fifteen.
In addition, Bella is quite literally a blank slate, an empty vessel. This created much mirth from our group-- "I can't read her thoughts." "That's because there AREN'T ANY!" "Heeheeheeheeheehee." "Shhhhhh!" But Bella seems to have no purpose, other than to be loved by someone, anyone. When she isn't around either Edward or Jacob, she mopes around and does... nothing. I was actually excited when she actually took initiative and yelled back at the werewolves.
Then I was pissed again, since the werewolves apparently also go for abusive relationships. The main wolf-dude lives with his girlfriend, who he fucking mauled once, because she provoked him into turning into a werewolf. "Well, he lost it, and she still has the scars."
Really. Let's go back to our list... actually, I don't need the list. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU SO HARD. Domestic violence is not romantic, and I don't care how much you say she started it, you don't hit your girlfriend. EVER. If the other women in your tribe had the sense that God gave mayonnaise, wolf boy would be lucky to *only* go to jail. Wait-- there don't appear to be any other women in the tribe. *sigh*
And this movie is the one that made $140 million bucks in one weekend. Bigger than Dark Knight. Maybe it's just that I'm older and (hopefully) wiser than the characters and thus out of this movie's target demographic, or maybe I'm a humorless feminist, but knowing that zillions of girls are seeing this getting the idea that a seriously unhealthy relationship is somehow the equivalent of true love -- that is profoundly disturbing. Far scarier than a werewolf.
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edit on 11-24: I’ve heard from a few people that my little rant has gone viral. Neat! And hello Internet. Feel free to leave a comment if you like. But if you like this, please pass it on. Start a conversation about how abusive relationships aren’t ok. I know, I know, no one likes to talk about domestic violence. But you don’t have to be a bra-burning feminist to start asking questions about how “romance” is portrayed.
And if you think I’m nuts, that’s ok too. Feel free to let me know why stalking is cool. ;)
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edit on 11-30: i09?? Jezebel?! Jumpin' jeebus christ. If I'd known so many people would read this, I definitely would have polished up my rant a little. Maybe taken out the f-bombs. *g* This seems to have really hit a nerve on the inter-tubes, and it warms the cockles of my dusty black heart to see that so many people have used this blog as a way to start talking about young women and domestic violence.
For the n00bs, no, I'm not a Twilight super-fan. Obviously. But I'm not a hater either. If you love the movies, enjoy watching them. If you don't, enjoy laughing at them. But if you take anything away from this conversation, it's this: think critically before you wish for someone else's idea of what's romantic. Actually, think critically, period, especially when mass media is involved. It looks like a lot of you's have started this already-- rock on with yourselves.
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edit on 12-1: OMGWTF EW.com? Now that this thing seems to have infiltrated the internet, I've added a followup post over here. Mwah. -K :)
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2009-11-22 12:55 pm UTC Edited: 12:57 pm UTC
This line made me GUFFAW aloud. I love you.
But I must add - the target audience isn't old enough to ovulate. Their moms all did though.
2009-11-23 03:01 am UTC
related
~M~
2009-11-27 11:27 pm UTC
Anonymous
2009-11-30 09:05 pm UTC
Anonymous
2009-12-01 02:01 am UTC
Anonymous
2009-12-01 04:19 am UTC
2009-11-22 02:05 pm UTC
THIS is why I hate the series so much. I'm truly scared for these girls
Anonymous
2009-12-09 09:47 am UTC
SERIOUSLY
There really isnt anything wrong with the serious. People take this as abuse because they dont know how to actually like something like it or refuse to admit it. All it is is a tale of teenage love. PERIOD. so come on people its fiction so forget about. If you love it great. If you hate it okay, dont complain about it all you keep doing it bringing up something you dont like. Its as SIMPLE as that. END OF STATEMENT.2009-12-10 06:24 am UTC
2010-01-12 05:34 am UTC
2009-11-22 03:36 pm UTC
Anonymous
2009-12-01 07:22 pm UTC
Really?
Suitable role modeling in literature read by high school and middle school students...like Holden Caufield? Ethan Frome? Rhett Butler? Romeo? Are there actually ANY examples of young people modeling their behavior off of these characters from these hugely influential texts? Are there any examples of girls entering in to abusive relationships with boys because of the Twilight series? Give young women a little credit. There are a lot of elements in the books that have appeal and even meet needs in women, young and not-so-young, but putting Edward into an abuser box is not part of it.I used to teach middle school and one thing we taught was context. Out of context you could call Edward an abuser, but in context he's self-sacrificial to a fault and his actions actually make sense because not only is Bella a magnet for trouble, he's not even human. If Edward were human and Bella were not in danger all of those behaviors that have been deemed potentially abusive would not exist. Given that vampires don't exist, and the readers are not in danger on a regular basis the behavior would be out of context and thus deemed unacceptable to the readers. Remember, the character of Bella is stubborn as hell, and if she doesn't like something she makes it known. She isn't swayed or influenced by her peers, she knows who she is and who she is not and she is not afraid of Edward, even if he is afraid of himself.
I actually interviewed Robert Pattinson and asked the question, "is Edward mentally 108-ish or is he mentally 17?" and his response was that Edward, as he understood it, stayed 17, in all ways, but that 17 of 108 years ago was more mature than the 17 of today, and that on top of it he had 90-something years of experience and knowledge, but he was still a 17-year-old. That changes things a little too.
Anonymous
2009-12-04 11:52 pm UTC
Anonymous
2009-12-04 11:57 pm UTC
2009-11-22 04:08 pm UTC
yep
tell it true. :)2009-11-22 06:49 pm UTC
Cinderella, you have to meet expectations far above your own self to be acceptable even worthy of dancing with the prince. Suffering is a good thing.
Little Mermaid Ariel you have to completely change who you are because you aren't worthy. You have to throw away your life.
Snow White you are not responsible because someone evil is to blame. Only a fantasy character can save you. If it isn't Mr. Perfect who will overlook all YOUR flaws...
Even Jasmine the Arabian princess who seems so free spirited falls for flash.
2009-11-23 10:10 pm UTC
Cinderella. She was a victim of Domestic abuse from her f'ed up family. They meet and fell in love (sort of .. I mean it was a first date and all) and he searched the country for her. It didn't matter to him at all that she was a "servant" (see above, abused child) - he loved her anyway. She was not meant to be a servant. She was from a good family, who was invited to the ball - she had every right to be there. All the women were chasing the hot prince. She just happened to be the one her fell for but she cleaned up nice ;)
Little Mermaid - She wanted to be human BEFORE she met the guy. That was just further motivation to do so, that and her dad kinda being a controlling dick. When she first sings "Part of your world" it has nothing to do with Eric, only about exploring and not feeling like she belonged in the world she was in. It was in the Reprise of that song when she included him. She made a choice to become human, a) because she had always been interested in the humans and b) because there was a hot guy involved. He didn't MAKE her choose anything. She made the choice herself. Nothing in that movie implied that she was not worthy of the Prince. She was also ALREADY a princess! AND he was totally falling for the mute version of her before he knew anything about her.
Beauty and the Beast - I am not really a fan of this picture and I pretty much agree. He was a dick to her .. it should not have been her responsibility to make him not a jerk. Those were his issues. It would be better if she was a) not held captive there b) he was never mean to her c) was just an ugly monster and she made the choice to love him despite his appearance .. for who he was, but who he was when she made that choice .. was a jerk .. so yeah f that.
Snow White - I am not getting where any of that is coming from. Again. Her Step mother was a controlling bitch. She was taken the woods to be murdered, dude spared her, she ran .. made her own little life with the dwarves .. who tried to protect her .. but she was a little naive and trusted like the scariest looking old lady ever. The real point of the movie is that if you are really pretty .. watch out cause your step-mother is totally going to kill you.
Jasmine was NOT impressed when Aladdin rode in on the big parade as Prince Ali .. it was not until her came up to her room on the flying carpet and put his hand out and said "Don't you trust me?" like her had when they first met in the market. He, as the fake prince was trying to get to know her and that was the only reason she agreed. Also prior to him she rejected ever other person presented to her by her father .. because she didn't want to be an object, she wanted to have something more .. which she found when she connected with Aladdin as the Prince. It was nothing to do with him being a "prince" and they got together even after he was exposed as not being a prince, because she liked him for who he was .. a street rat, free spirit that liked her for who she was .. a free spirited princess, but he liked her when he met her on the street the first time too before he knew who she was. She was already a princess. HE changed for her not the other way around.
There are sever issues on the side of Disney with the princesses .. but most of what you pointed out weren't actually the cases in these particular movies (save Beauty and the Beast)
2009-11-23 11:39 pm UTC
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Anonymous
2009-11-25 08:12 am UTC
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
2009-11-25 03:38 am UTC
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2009-11-22 07:26 pm UTC
oh my shit.. I can't wait until the 3rd movie.. you are going to lose it ;) you haven't read the books right? if you haven't.. you should, you know - for science!
but yeah.. everything you said is TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
2009-11-22 07:34 pm UTC
i refuse to give that franchise my money because mormons really REALLY bug me.
2009-11-22 10:07 pm UTC
2009-11-22 10:50 pm UTC
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2009-12-02 09:04 am UTC
Deleted comment
Anonymous
2009-11-29 08:34 pm UTC
2009-11-22 09:33 pm UTC
2009-11-22 10:08 pm UTC
2009-11-23 09:42 pm UTC
Was there glass in the staircase? Because she had glass through her leg, I assume the doctor's removed it. She had a HUGE bite mark on her arm .. where the hell are these man eating stairs? They bandaged the area .. they had to had SEEN it ..
yeah .. she fell down stairs.
Let's just set that up for future reference, she is an idiot and now her random abuse will go on without question or concern from anyone who loves her (her family)
2009-11-24 09:30 am UTC
2009-11-24 09:27 pm UTC
2009-11-23 02:22 am UTC
What about the obsessive scary way Edward watches her when she sleeps. Can this girl never get a moment to herself?
*shudder* this whole franchise has always bothered me and you've helped explain why.
thanks!
2009-11-23 09:11 am UTC
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2009-11-23 03:01 am UTC
Mind if I link to this post?
2009-11-23 08:49 am UTC
2009-11-23 05:22 am UTC
http://fashionablygeek.com/t-shirts/n
2009-11-23 08:44 am UTC
2009-11-23 06:52 am UTC
I don't identify with any women or men that doesn't have a life and friends of their own. However, I think during the tween years you officially lose your brain and then find it laying in a drain system somewhere when you're over twenty.
I couldn't get past the bad writing from the book. I'm certainly not going to hold back from laughing at how bad the movie is and what it represents either. Good for you for laughing! I'm right there with ya!
2009-11-24 09:34 pm UTC
The problem is two fold. Women that believe it is ok to love men who behave this way. Men who believe it is ok to behave this way.
It is high time that men are held accountable when they are pricks to people they are supposed to care about.
Yes the women should know better and leave .. but seriously parents need to raise their young boys into men that treat women with respect. "Boys will be Boys" is BS - cause in my world "girls will be girls" and knee those boys in the nuts
Anonymous
2009-11-30 02:28 pm UTC
2009-11-30 03:47 pm UTC
Anonymous
2009-12-01 09:33 pm UTC
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Anonymous
2010-01-05 07:02 pm UTC
2009-11-23 10:03 am UTC
This list does remind me of what happened with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and he relationship with SPike the Vampire.
It was bad enough when she was dating the first Vampire, Angel. Over 200 years old and going for a teenage girl?
If she was any younger it would have been paedophilia.
2009-11-23 08:34 pm UTC
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Anonymous
2009-12-02 02:13 am UTC
2009-12-01 03:51 pm UTC
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2009-12-01 10:04 pm UTC
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2009-11-23 10:19 am UTC
Five terrible male role models.
http://scottalanmendelson.blogspot.cDeleted comment
2009-11-24 08:48 pm UTC
2009-11-24 03:04 am UTC
THANK YOU for such a concise and perfectly-spelled-out list. I have reposted it on Facebook and have sent it to a HS teacher friend of mine. We need to get the word out that Abusive Relationships are Not OK.
thank you!
2009-11-24 06:06 pm UTC
2009-11-24 08:52 pm UTC
2009-11-24 11:49 pm UTC
2009-11-24 07:11 am UTC
You are now INTERNET FAMOUS. I mean, if you weren't before.
2009-11-25 05:47 pm UTC
2009-11-24 04:07 pm UTC
2009-11-24 11:28 pm UTC
But I'm a YA librarian and was asked to use "Twilight" for a book club book last December. Almost all the girls that attended said that while they felt at times Edward was romantic, he was way too controlling and they wouldn't want to date him. (As a point of reference the other girls didn't say whether or not they had an opinion.)
Take that how you will. At least some girls are smart enough/getting the message that the series doesn't depict a normal relationship (even if it is billed as fantasy).
ps. found your post via the YALSA blog.
2009-11-24 11:29 pm UTC
2009-11-25 12:46 am UTC
Like britgeekgrrl, I've never read the series or seen the movies, but this nicely summarizes everything I've heard that made me uncomfortable.
2009-11-25 12:48 am UTC
2009-11-25 04:06 pm UTC
2009-11-28 02:40 am UTC
2009-11-25 05:22 pm UTC
Oh, and you became quite popular on Google Reader! :P
Anonymous
2009-11-30 04:31 pm UTC
Breathe, people
Wow... a whole anti-twilight subculture analyzing disney and crucifying fictional stories. I'm a little surprised at how serious this is all becoming - reminds me of the Christians crucifying Harry Potter as the Occult :)I agree with the accurate things -- the whole Edward-is-a-stalker thing and all that. But you people are going a little nuts here. If you are going to criticize, and there is a lot to criticize, try to be accurate. Setting up a straw man and knocking it down is a huge turn off for any topic in my book.
(keep in mind, I'm speaking from the books, not the movies). Edward doesn't hurt Bella. Yes, he has to control the whole desiring-her-blood thing, but that's the fictional vampire part of the story - he never does what happens in real abusive relationships - where the one party is so frustrated (often without reason) by something the other party does that they lose it and beat the shit out of them or threaten them or such. His behavior does not mirror real abusive relationships at all.
The whole criticism with the "fell through a window" excuse was bogus - Edward did NOT cause those injuries - it was an evil vampire who chased her down. You guys write it as if he lost it, beat the shit out of her and then passed it off as "fell through a window".
Is this a healthy role-model type story young girls should hang their hopes on? No, but neither is prince charming or any other love story I've ever read. Hello, stories are not real. I've not read any accurate ones that present good, healthy, AND realistic examples of relationships. If they made a story like that, it would probably be boring.
Here's an idea... TALK to your kids, be parents, don't expect authors to write the messages for you. Don't expect filmmakers to consider your child's moral health when making movies. If you disagree with a story, don't let your kids read the books or watch the movie. If you think there are issues - talk to your kids about it. Be involved.
If you worry about where society is going, do your part to support family-friendly alternatives and don't give money to the things you disagree with. Even write stuff like this to spread the word and make people think. But for goodness sake, at least make it accurate.
Why not give your child the tools to scrutinize anything they hear and read - fiction or non-fiction, movies, books, or speeches. Now THAT would be a great thing for society...
2009-12-01 12:46 am UTC
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Anonymous
2009-12-02 02:38 am UTC
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Anonymous
2009-11-25 05:43 pm UTC
Excellent!
Thanks for an awesome post; came here through a link from the YALSA blog which was linked by a friend of mine on Facebook. I have reposted both the YALSA link and the link to this post on my Facebook Wall. Your post is a concise explication of why these books are so scary from a social standpoint.Another Live Journal item about the books that I saw awhile back was this:
http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.h
The post's author is very funny and lays out the plots with a good amount of snark for folks who haven't read the books; I have passed the link to it along to others who don't want to read them but want to know the general plotlines. The post's author is ex-Mormon, so that's an interesting perspective, too. She said the ways that Stephenie Meyers describes Edward is SO reminiscent of how Joseph Smith (creator of the LDS church) was/is described by the church -- it really creeped her (the post author) out.
2009-11-28 02:35 am UTC
Re: Excellent!
Thanks for the link.. that's rather enlightening (and funny) to read it from the Mormon perspective. Just when you thought Twilight couldn't get any creepier, it does. :P2010-03-23 07:59 pm UTC
Anonymous
2009-11-26 01:59 am UTC
2009-11-28 02:39 am UTC
Anonymous
2009-11-30 02:37 pm UTC
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